The Freedom of Turning 50 & Expectations to Ditch for Good
When I turned 50, people around me made me think that something big might happen, like flipping a switch and suddenly stepping into a new chapter of life.
As if crossing that milestone would bring some kind of instant change.
But it wasn’t like that at all.
It’s just like another year, like all the others before it.
The truth is, turning 50 didn’t magically change anything.
It wasn’t like I woke up with some sudden realisation that I needed to let go of expectations or that life would be completely different.
Instead, it’s been a gradual process—shaped by the experiences, people, and lessons I’ve encountered over time.
The number 50 didn’t change me; it’s the journey that got me here that has.
I think 50 feels like such a milestone because society places so much emphasis on it.
But in reality, for me it’s just a moment where I’ve chosen to pause and reflect.
It’s a time to reflect, not because everything is suddenly different, but because everything has slowly built up to this point.
I’ve spent time thinking about the expectations I’ve carried over the years.
Some have helped me find success and happiness, but others have weighed me down, stopping me from living fully and freely.
Fifty is the golden age where you learn to accept yourself, flaws and all, with an open heart and a mature mind.
This new phase is a great time to look at what we’re still holding onto.
In this post, I’ll talk about 15 expectations that no longer serve us at 50—and that we should let go of for a happier, more peaceful life.
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1. Chasing Perfection
“Perfection is an illusion — embrace your imperfections, for they are what make you real.”
Trying to get everything just right will only drain you out. In reality life is messy, unpredictable, and imperfect.
I used to believe that perfection was something I should aim for in parenting, relationships, work etc. But expecting perfection only leads to disappointment.
We need to understand that perfection is not the goal—contentment, authenticity, and joy are.
2. Approval from Others
“The moment you stop needing approval from others is the moment you start living authentically.”
There were days when someone’s disapproval could keep me awake at night.
But one of my greatest realisations was finally understanding that outside validation is temporary and often meaningless.
If I’m happy with my choices and living true to my values, then that’s what really matters.
Letting go of the need for approval from others has been strangely liberating, and it has opened me up to be more true to myself—something I’ve come to understand and respect more than ever before.
3. The Idea That Life Should Follow a Perfect Timeline
Life doesn’t run on a schedule — embrace its natural rhythm, and trust that everything will unfold in its time.
There was a time when I felt that I had to follow the traditional life timeline—graduate, find a career, marry, have kids, settle down.
As I’ve grown, it’s clear that life doesn’t work like that.
We all move at our own pace and Life isn’t a checklist.
4. Don’t Let Age limit you or Define Your Capabilities
“Don’t let age define what you can achieve — let your passion and perseverance be the guide.”
One of the most toxic beliefs we can hold is that age limits what we can achieve.
But now, I’m more aware than ever that age is just a number.
If you want to learn a new skill, change careers, or chase your passion, your age has no bearing on what you’re capable of.
I’ve seen people start businesses in their 60s, go back to school in their 70s, and climb mountains in their 80s.
Our dreams don’t expire just because the calendar does.
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5. Expecting Others to Change
Expecting others to change only creates frustration — focus on changing yourself, and the world around you will shift.
For years, I thought that if I just communicated better, loved harder, or worked through challenges with someone, they’d eventually change.
But the thing is, we can’t expect others to change just because we want them to.
What we can change is how we respond to them and how much space we allow them in our lives.
This mindset shift has brought so much peace, and it’s something I wish I had learned earlier in life.
When you release your expectations, you allow life to unfold exactly as it is meant to be.
6. Needing all the Answers and Having It All Figured Out
You don’t need to have all the answers — life’s beauty is in the unfolding of the unknown.
No one has everything figured out.
Life is about learning as you go, no matter your age.
I used to believe that by the time I reached a certain age, I’d have all the answers—about myself, my career, my family.
But life is a continuous process of learning and adapting.
The beauty is in knowing that it’s okay to not have it all figured out.
In fact, it’s freeing.
There’s always more to learn, more to experience, and more growth to be had.
7. Thinking Your Worth is Tied to how busy you are
Being busy doesn’t make you worthy; being true to yourself does.
This one has been a tough lesson.
We live in a world that celebrates busyness and productivity and for a long time, I believed that my worth was tied to how much I could achieve in a day.
But I know now that rest, reflection, and simply enjoying life are just as valuable.
Our worth isn’t measured by a checklist or a to-do list.
It’s found in who we are, not just what we do.
8. Believing You Can Please Everyone
Trying to please everyone will only drain your spirit — focus on pleasing the person who matters most: you.
This is a big one.
For years, I tried to be everything to everyone—managing roles, responsibilities, and relationships, all the while neglecting my own needs.
But now I have this clear understanding that pleasing everyone is impossible and unhealthy.
I’ve learned to make my own happiness my top priority, to say no when necessary, and to focus on things and people that truly matter.
9. Expecting Life to Be Fair
“Life isn’t always fair, but your attitude toward it can shape your reality.”
Life doesn’t always go the way we plan, and it definitely isn’t always fair.
I’ve had my share of disappointments, just like everyone else.
But holding on to the expectation that life should be fair only leads to disappointment.
Instead, I’ve learned how to respond to challenges and find ways to create meaning and purpose, even when life becomes difficult.
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10. The Pressure and Need to Look a Certain Way
True beauty lies in your authenticity, not in society’s standards.
The pressure to look young and fit can be so stressful, especially as we age.
But trying to maintain a certain appearance—through diet, beauty treatments, clothes etc—just to meet societal standards isn’t worth the pain.
Ageing is natural and there’s beauty in it.
So just enjoy and accept the wisdom and grace that comes with age, and try to be kinder to yourself when looking in the mirror.
11. Waiting for the ‘Perfect’ Time
There is no perfect time — start where you are, with what you have, and make it perfect.
How many times have we delayed our dreams, waiting for the perfect time?
There’s rarely a perfect time to take a leap of faith, to follow a new passion, make a big change, or just try something new.
I’ve learned to go for what I want, even if the timing isn’t perfect.
Life waits for no one, and now is as good a time as any to chase your passion.
12. Thinking You Must Have Control Over Everything
Let go of control, and you’ll find that peace arrives in the spaces you once tried to manage.
Control is an illusion I’ve been chasing for years, but as I’ve reached this stage in life, I’ve realised that letting go of control brings more peace than grasping at it.
Life is full of surprises and things we simply cannot control—be it health, relationships, or even the weather!
What we can control is our attitude and our response.
Learning to go with the flow has been one of the most liberating lessons I’ve learned..
13. Believing Past Mistakes Define You
Your past mistakes are lessons, not definitions of who you are.
We all have regrets—things we wish we could undo or decisions we’d like to have back.
But holding on to past mistakes only weighs us down.
I’ve learned to forgive myself, to view my mistakes as lessons rather than failures.
Our past doesn’t define us; it shapes us, teaches us, and helps us to move forward.
So now at 50, I’m discovering the power of letting go and moving on.
14. Believing and Expecting That Happiness Comes from Outside
Happiness doesn’t come from external things; it blooms from within.
It’s easy to believe in the idea that happiness is something we can find outside ourselves—through success, relationships etc.
But true happiness comes from within and not from things or people.
Inner peace, gratitude, and self-acceptance is far more fulfilling than any outside achievement.
Expecting happiness to come from outside leaves you empty — cultivate joy from within, and it will fill your life.
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15. Expecting to Stay the Same
Change is inevitable, and expecting to stay the same limits your growth.
I’d always thought that I would be the same person, with the same tastes, habits, likes, dislikes and thinking.
But I’ve changed so much over the years and I expect to keep changing and evolving even more.
Accepting this change, rather than resisting it and letting go of the expectation to remain the same allows us to explore new parts of ourselves.
16. Understanding That People Change and Friends Come and Go
I’ve come to realise that people change, and sometimes, they leave.
Friends who were once so close may drift away, and new people come into my life.
It’s not because I did something wrong; it’s just how life works.
People grow, their priorities shift, and sometimes that means relationships fade.
I’m learning to accept that friends come and go.
It helps me appreciate the good memories without expecting things to stay the same forever.
Letting go of that need allows me to make room for new people, while still allowing me to appreciate the ones who were important.
My short list of 50 things to let go off for good !
50 Things to let go off –
- The Need to Look Young
- Conforming to Traditional Roles
- Fitting into Society’s Idea of Success
- Pleasing Everyone
- Needing to Be Everything for Everyone
- Feeling Guilty for Prioritising Yourself
- Holding onto Past Mistakes
- Fear of Aging
- The Pressure to Be in Perfect Health
- Achieving Unrealistic Fitness Goals
- Needing to Keep Up With Technology
- The Expectation to Be Married
- Having Grown-up Children Living Perfect Lives
- Being Financially Secure
- Feeling Responsible for Everyone’s Happiness
- Trying to Fix Everything
- Maintaining a Busy Social Life
- Having the Same Energy Levels as in Your Youth
- The Need for Constant Achievement
- The Desire to Compare Yourself to Others
- Needing to Stay on Trend
- Expecting Everyone to Understand You
- Waiting for the ‘Right Time’
- Chasing Perfection
- Feeling Ashamed of Your Life Story
- Worrying About What You Could Have Done
- Feeling Old
- Needing to Reinvent Yourself Completely
- Being Afraid of New Experiences
- Judging Yourself Based on Society’s Standards
- Feeling Pressured to Retire
- Being the Perfect Parent or Grandparent
- The Desire to Stay the Same
- Regret Over Missed Opportunities
- Holding onto Toxic Relationships
- Needing External Validation
- Being Afraid to Speak Your Mind
- Living Up to Family Expectations
- Feeling Pressure to Achieve More
- Fearing Change
- Hanging on to Outdated Beliefs
- Feeling the Need to Be Right
- The Expectation to Always Be Happy
- Letting Stress Control Your Life
- Judging Your Life by Societal Milestones
- Expecting Life to Go According to Plan
- Trying to Be Perfectly Organised
- Fearing the Future
- Hiding Your True Self
- Thinking It’s Too Late
Life after 50 can be the most exciting chapter yet, full of new opportunities, growth, and discovery.
The journey continues, and here’s hoping it’s more beautiful than ever. Amen.
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