How to Fake It Till You Make It: From Stage Fright to Self-Belief

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“Fake it till you make it,” has been a significant part of my personal and professional journey.

Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you felt out of place or unprepared, yet had to pretend to be calm, composed and confident?

So let me share a memorable incident and its impact on my personal growth.

I was sitting comfortably in the crowd, admiring my saree and people-watching, waiting for a speaker to arrive.

Suddenly, I felt a creepy-crawly sensation on my neck.

I turned around to find a sweating, bearded face inches away from mine, breathing heavily.

Startled, I jumped, swore, and nearly tripped over my saree.

Regaining my balance, I tried to compose myself.

Amid the chaos, I heard my name blaring from the speakers.

Was I imagining it? No, it was real.

My name was being called, and I was asked to come on stage to explain my reaction.

The topic? “Stimulus and Response.”

There I was, unexpectedly pushed into the spotlight alongside a renowned speaker.

My heart was racing, and my mind was screaming, “Run, Eshna, run!”

I knew I had two choices: face embarrassment by running in a saree (with a high chance of tripping again) or by speaking nonsense.

I chose to speak.

Gathering my courage, I walked up to the mic, projecting calmness and composure.

I knew only I was aware of my fear; to the audience, I appeared in control.

Necessity and Confidence: Fake it till you make it

This incident, among many others, illustrates my journey with “Faking it till you make it.”

I wasn’t confident, but I couldn’t show it.

I had to pretend to be confident until the real confidence surfaced.

For me, this approach was born out of necessity.

Faced with no choice but to be confident, I had to project it, or I would have crumbled.

This incident wasn’t a one-time occurrence.

Throughout my life, I’ve encountered situations that demanded a performance of confidence, even when I felt anything but. 

Whether it was a interview, a presentation, or simply surviving a social gathering, I’ve often relied on this “fake it till you make it” approach.

For me, this isn’t about maintaining a facade.

It’s about accepting and acknowledging my inner feelings (the jitters, the self-doubt and all) while projecting a confident exterior.

It’s about using temporary confidence to build real self-belief.

Think of it like when you’re learning to ride a bike, you start with training wheels.

They give you stability and confidence until you can ride on your own.

Similarly, “faking it” is like those training wheels when you’re in new situations.

It helps you overcome fear and gain experience, laying the groundwork for real self-confidence.

ALSO READ: 11 HABITS TO LET GO ASAP

Different Strokes for Different Folks: Exploring the “Fake It” Spectrum

Recently, I had an interesting discussion with students and experienced professionals about “fake it till you make it.”

The conversation revealed a range of opinions.

Some strongly believed in this strategy, crediting it for their success.

Others were concerned about its authenticity and doubted its long-term effectiveness.

This led me to an intriguing alternative: “imagine it till you achieve it.”

This approach focuses on visualization and positive affirmations.

By picturing yourself achieving your goals and believing in your capabilities, you can build the confidence needed to take action.

Rhonda Byrne, in her book “The Secret,” beautifully summarizes this concept:

 “Start make-believing. Be like a child, and MAKE/BELIEVE. Act as if you have it already. As you make-believe, you will begin to BELIEVE you have RECEIVED.”

Rhonda Byrne

From Faking to Becoming: Adopting a Growth Mindset

There isn’t a solution that works for everyone. “Fake it till you make it” works for some, while visualization or other methods might suit others better.

The key is understanding the power of your mindset.

Embracing a growth mindset – the belief that you can develop your abilities through effort and learning – is crucial.

By adopting this mindset and using strategies that work for you, you can overcome self-doubt and face new challenges with confidence.

Practical tips to develop a growth mindset and build genuine self-belief:

Challenge Negative Self-Talk: 

We all have that inner critic. Identify the negative thoughts that hold you back, and actively challenge them with positive affirmations.

Focus on Progress, Not Perfection:

It’s easy to get discouraged by comparing yourself to others. Instead, celebrate your progress, no matter how small.

Embrace Learning:

Every challenge is an opportunity to learn and grow. Approach setbacks as stepping stones, not roadblocks.

Step Outside Your Comfort Zone:

Growth happens outside your comfort zone. Take calculated risks, try new things, and push yourself beyond your perceived limitations.

Related: How To Embrace Change and develop growth mindset

Seek Inspiration:

Surround yourself with positive and growth-oriented people. Read biographies of successful individuals, listen to motivational podcasts, or attend workshops that inspire you.

Celebrate Your Wins (Big and Small):

Acknowledge and celebrate your achievements, big or small. This reinforces positive behavior and strengthens your belief in your abilities.

Beyond Faking It: Building Confidence Through Action

While “faking it till you make it” can be a useful tool, it’s important to remember that true confidence comes from taking action and building competence.

Here are some ways to translate that “faked” confidence into genuine self-belief:

Develop Your Skills: Investing in your skillset is a powerful way to boost confidence. Take courses, read books, or seek mentorship to develop your capabilities in your chosen field.

Prepare, Prepare, Prepare:  Preparation builds confidence. Whether it’s a presentation, a job interview, or a social gathering, take the time to prepare effectively.

Start Small and Build Momentum: Don’t try to conquer your biggest fear right away. Start with small, achievable goals and gradually increase the difficulty as your confidence grows.

Focus on Your Strengths: Identify your strengths and leverage them to your advantage. When you focus on what you’re good at, it fosters a sense of accomplishment and boosts confidence.

Learn from Mistakes: Everyone makes mistakes. View them as learning opportunities, not failures. Analyze what went wrong, adjust your approach, and move forward.

ALSO READ: INTENTIONAL LIVING FOR A HAPPY LIFE

Accepting Your Imperfections and Vulnerabilities

True confidence doesn’t mean pretending to be perfect.

It’s about acknowledging your vulnerabilities and accepting yourself, flaws and all.

When you accept your imperfections, you show authenticity that others appreciate, boosting your inner confidence.

Some ways to embrace vulnerability:

• Be Open and Honest: Share your struggles and experiences with trusted friends and mentors. Vulnerability builds connection and allows you to learn from others.
• Practice Self-Compassion:  Treat yourself with kindness and understanding. Forgive yourself for mistakes and focus on self-improvement.
• Celebrate Your Uniqueness:  What makes you, you? Embrace your quirks and individuality. It’s your unique qualities that set you apart and contribute to your personal brand.

There will be moments of self-doubt, setbacks, and situations that require a bit of “faking it.”

But by adopting a growth mindset, taking action to build your skills, and self-compassion, you can transform that temporary confidence into genuine self-belief.

If you feel like you shouldn’t be somewhere: Fake it. Do it not until you make it but – until you become it.

Amy Cuddy

So, the next time you find yourself in a situation that demands a performance of confidence, remember: it’s okay to “fake it till you make it.”

But ultimately, the goal is to evolve from faking it to becoming it.

Believe in yourself, take action, and watch your confidence blossom!

“Fake it till you become it. If you can find a way to fake it for a week, you’ll get the habit. And if you can fake it for a year, you’ll get the experience. But if you can fake it for ten years, you’ll become it.”

Amy Poehler

(This humorous take emphasizes the potential for “faking it” to lead to genuine confidence over time)

Let’s continue the conversation!

Share your thoughts and experiences with “faking it till you make it” in the comments below.

What strategies have worked for you in building confidence?

How can we support each other on this journey of personal development?

Remember, self-belief is a powerful tool, and by embracing the concept of “becoming it” rather than just “faking it,” you can unlock your full potential and achieve your goals.

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