How to stop worrying about what others think

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How to Stop Worrying About What Others Think: Fear of Judgement

The fear of judgment is a powerful thing.

It whispers doubts into my ears, making me question my writing skills, and even my right to share my thoughts with the world.

Till yesterday, I was stuck : Should I tell my family and friends about my blog? I’ve been writing for two months now, but I was scared of what they might think. Questions like, “What will they say?“ and “Am I trying to brag?” were making me hesitate.

But then, between all these doubts, a voice inside me spoke up.

It reminded me that I started this blog not to prove anything to anyone, but as a way to express myself and connect with others who might relate with my words.

It told me that it’s okay to be vulnerable, to share my imperfections and uncertainties along with my thoughts and experiences.

And most importantly, I reminded myself that my worth and value as a writer and as a person are not determined by the opinions of others.

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How to Stop Worrying About What People Think

Why do we fear?

Before we get to the “how,” let’s understand the “why.”

People often worry about what others think for several reasons, including:

Social Acceptance:

Humans are social animals, and we naturally seek acceptance and approval from others.

We fear rejection and want to be liked and respected by those around us.

Fear of Judgment:

Many people worry about being judged negatively by others.

This fear originates from the desire to fit in and avoid criticism.

We may worry that others will think poorly of us if we don’t meet their expectations or conform to societal norms.

Self-Esteem Issues:

When we lack confidence in ourselves and our abilities, we rely on external validation to feel worthy and valuable.

As a result, we constantly seek approval from others to feel better about ourselves.

Comparison:

In today’s society, it’s easy to fall into the trap of comparing ourselves to others, especially with the influx of social media.

We worry about how we measure up to others in terms of success, appearance, or lifestyle, leading to feelings of inadequacy and insecurity.

Cultural and Family Expectations:

Cultural and family influences play a significant role in shaping our behavior and beliefs.

We worry about meeting the expectations of our family, friends, peers, or colleagues, fearing that we will disappoint or embarrass them.

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Shift Your Perspective and Reframe the Narrative

No one cares:

They’re probably not thinking about you as much as you think they are.

People are self-absorbed, preoccupied with their own pleasures and problems.

The chances of them analyzing your every move is very slim.

Most people are kind:

Truth be told, people are more concerned about living their own lives than judging yours.

Kindness is the default, not the exception.

Focus on your intention, not their perception:

Focus on your purpose, your goals, and the reason you’re doing something.

Their perception is irrelevant.

Not everyone will like you, and that’s perfectly fine:

Seeking approval from everyone is like chasing a mirage; it leads to disappointment.

Instead, focus on being genuine rather than seeking acceptance.

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How to Build Your Confidence:

Now that we’ve reframed the narrative, let’s build the confidence to get out of self-doubt.

Develop a strong sense of self:

Who are you, outside of other people’s opinions?

What are your values, passions, and goals?

Cultivate a deep understanding of yourself and let that guide your actions.

Practice self-compassion:

Be kind to yourself.

We all make mistakes, we all have insecurities.

Treat yourself with the same understanding and empathy you would offer a friend.

Celebrate your wins, big and small:

Recognize and appreciate your accomplishments.

This builds confidence and motivates to keep you  going.

Challenge your negative thoughts:

Are your thoughts based on reality or just self-doubt?

How to take action:

Start small.

Don’t try to conquer your biggest fear overnight. Take small steps.

Focus on progress, not perfection.

The journey is more important than the destination. Celebrate your growth, not just the result.

Surround yourself with supportive people.

Having a network of positive, encouraging people in your life makes all the difference.

Practice self-care.

A healthy body and mind are extremely essential. Prioritize sleep, exercise, and activities that bring you joy.

Embrace the power of “so what?”

Even if someone judges you, so what? Does it ultimately impact your worth or your goals?

Living a life free from the fear of judgement allows you to:

Embrace opportunities with open arms.

No longer will fear of judgement hold you back from trying new things.

Express yourself authentically.

You can speak your mind, wear what you love, and pursue your passions without worrying about fitting into a mold.

Develop deeper connections.

Authenticity creates real relationships built on shared values and mutual respect.

Live with a greater purpose.

When you’re not consumed by seeking approval, you can focus on what truly matters to you and contribute to the world.

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Some thoughts to consider as you move forward:

Forgive yourself.

We all make mistakes, and sometimes those mistakes lead to social blunders.

Forgive yourself, learn from the experience, and move on.

Find humor in the situation.

Sometimes, the best way is to laugh at yourself. Don’t take things too seriously.

Fake it till you make it.

Act confident, even if you don’t feel it completely. Over time, the line between acting and feeling confident can blur.

Focus on your contribution, not the attention.

When you’re passionate about what you’re doing, the focus naturally shifts from yourself to the impact you’re making.

Living freely doesn’t mean being oblivious to others.

It means striking a balance between respecting the opinions of others and staying true to yourself.

It’s about developing the courage to be vulnerable, to embrace your imperfections, and to celebrate your own journey.

It’s about choosing to live a life that aligns with your values and purpose, regardless of what anyone else thinks.

You are not alone.

We all struggle with self-doubt and the fear of judgment.

But by understanding the roots of this fear, reframing our narratives, and building our confidence, we can rewrite our story.

So, take a deep breath, and step out into the world with confidence.

The world needs you, your unique voice, and your perspective.

Don’t wait for everyone’s approval to start living your best life. Start living today!

In conclusion

“Care about people’s approval and you will be their prisoner.”
Lao Tzu

But this prison of seeking others’ approval is one built by us, maintained by us, and guarded by us.

Instead we should rephrase it as

“Disregard other people’s approval and you will be free…”

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